Jokes－－about Engineers

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Subject: Understanding Engineers
　　Understanding Engineers - Take One
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　　Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said, ’Where did you get such a great bike?’
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　　The second engineer replied, ’Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, ’Take what you want.’
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　　The second engineer nodded approvingly and said, ’Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you anyway.’
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　　Understanding Engineers - Take Two
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　　To the optimist, the glass is half full.
　　To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
　　To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
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　　Understanding Engineers - Take Three
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　　A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.
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　　The engineer fumed, "What’ s with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"
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　　The doctor chimed in, "I don’t know, but I’ve never seen such inept golf!"
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　　The priest said, "Here comes the greens keeper. Let’s have a word with him." He said, "Hello, George, what’s wrong with that group ahead of us? They’re rather slow, aren’t they?"
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　　The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That’s a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."
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　　The group fell silent.
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　　The priest said"so sad I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
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　　The doctor said, "Good idea. I’m going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there’s anything he can do for them."
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　　The engineer said, "Why can’t they play at night?"
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　　Understanding Engineers - Take Four
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　　What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
　　Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build targets.
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　　Understanding Engineers - Take Five
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　　The graduate with a science degree asks, ’Why does it work?’
　　The graduate with an engineering degree asks, ’How does it work?’
　　The graduate with an accounting degree asks, ’How much will it cost?’
　　The graduate with an arts degree asks, ’Do you want fries with that?’
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　　Understanding Engineers - Take Six
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　　Normal people believe that if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain’t broke, it doesn’t have enough features yet.
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　　Understanding Engineers - Take Seven
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　　An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, ’If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.’
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　　He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
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　　The frog spoke up again and said, ’If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week.’
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　　The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
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　　The frog then cried out, ’If you kiss me and turn me back into a Princess, I’ll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want.’
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　　Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
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　　Finally, the frog asked, ’What is the matter? I’ve told you I’m a beautiful princess and that I’ll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won’t you kiss me?’
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　　The engineer said, ’Look, I’m an engineer. I don’t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that’s cool.’
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